Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle

Constructor: Jake Halperin

Relative difficulty: Medium (?) (solved on paper)

THEME: THEN AND NOW (62A: Phrase in an article on grown-up child stars, perhaps ... or a hint to this puzzle's circled squares)— themers contain (in circled squares) verbs in both their past and present tense:

Theme answers:

DIDGERIDOO (DID and DO)
WATER FEATURES (ATE and EAT)
WASPISH (WAS and IS)
"WE GO TOGETHER" (GOT and GET)

Word of the Day: LEDA (14A: Mother of Castor and Pollux) —

In Greek mythology, Leda (/ˈliːdə, ˈleɪ-/; Ancient Greek: Λήδα [lɛ͜ɛ́da͜a]) was an Aetolian princess who became a Spartan queen. Her myth gave rise to the popular motif in Renaissance and later art of Leda and the Swan. // Leda was the daughter of the Aetolian King Thestius hence she was also called Thestias. Her mother was either Leucippe, Deidameia, daughter of Perieres, Eurythemis, daughter of Cleoboea, or Laophonte, daughter of Pleuron. According to Alcman, Leda's parents were Glaucus and Laophonte while Eumelus attested that they are Sisyphus and Panteiduia or Paneidyia.
She married king Tyndareus of Sparta and by him became the mother of Helen of Troy, Clytemnestra, and Castor and Pollux (also spelled "Castor and Polydeuces"). Leda also had three other daughters by Tyndareus: Timandra, Phoebe, and Philonoe. (wikipedia)

• • •

I feel slightly bad for this puzzle. It doesn't have much to offer. I mean, it has something, but nothing substantial. It's trying, but there's just not ... enough here for a real puzzle. On its own, the fact that a verb appears in its past and present tense inside of a phrase really isn't that interesting. And when you spell it out so blatantly like this, well, it's like having a joke explained to you. Not much fun. The theme answers, taken on their own as stand-alone entries, are just fine. DIDGERIDOO and "WE GO TOGETHER" are colorful, actually. But this theme is a huge "who cares?" It needed some other level. And what it especially needed was to have THEN AND NOW as the *title* and not the (awfully awkward-to-clue) revealer. Consider this my quarterly plea for all puzzles to have titles—so many times, what we get as a revealer would function so much better as a title, either because it would create room for another themer in the puzzle, or because, as a revealer, the phrase just doesn't go pow. If I got a puzzle entitled THEN AND NOW, I wouldn't blink, but when you try to serve me THEN AND NOW as a revealer, well, it's awkward. "Phrase in an article on grown-up child stars"??? The fact that you have to imagine such a weirdly specific context means that the phrase is struggling to hold up on its own. NOW AND THEN ... damn, that's a phrase. That stands straight up. THEN AND NOW ... sigh, it's definitely listing, possibly teetering, and generally looks like it needs some help. As a revealer, it goes thud. As a title, no one's going to question it.

Which brings me to why I *really* feel bad for this puzzle—The Wall Street Journal Daily Crossword ran a Puzzle Contest *just last week* that had a sleek and souped-up version of this same theme concept. Its title: "THEN AND NOW." In many ways, it's very unfair to compare them. Matt Gaffney's puzzle in the WSJ was a contest puzzle, which means it was a metapuzzle, where solvers had to figure out the "answer" to the puzzle by finishing the puzzle and then making inferences based on the title / clues / answers in the grid (this week: "The answer to this week's contest crossword is a cartoon duo"). I'm not gonna give any major details away. You can solve the puzzle here (the contest deadline already passed, but who cares? The puzzle is still a delight, with an "answer" that delivers a genuine AHA). What Matt's puzzle shows is a. there are apparently a Lot of potential THEN AND NOW themers out there (Matt's set of themers is entirely different from this NYT set), and b. THEN AND NOW works better as a title then as a revealer, precisely because you aren't in the awkward position of cluing it. Even if the NYT stuck with this straightforward version of the theme, where you circle the verbs inside the themers, having THEN AND NOW as a title instead of a revealer would've given you room for another example of the theme form. And maybe that example would shine. I don't know. I just know that this felt like being spoonfed pablum, and I didn't like it. The fill was pretty weak too (SOR SSR SLO ENCLS OPA etc), but only slightly weaker than the NYT's normal weakness, honestly.

Five things:

39A: Sound of a penny dropping? (AHA)— not a bad clue for AHA. Clever. Do you know this idiom? Well, if you don't: here.
34D: Winter milestone (FIRST SNOW)— easily my favorite answer in the grid. Feels fresh, original, and timely (don't know if this last snow we got was our first real snow, but man it was memorable. And beautiful. Caused terrible travel delays and got university classes canceled for two days straight. But beautiful.
63D: Window boxes, for short (ACS) — did anyone else put in ADS? I had the "A" and all I could think of were pop-up ads appearing in little boxes on my computer screen. Probably not a common mistake, but I feel confident that there are at least six of you out there who did this, so hello to you.
33D: Cost-controlling W.W. II org. (OPA) — this stands for "Office of Price Administration." It surely meant something to you if you were alive during WWII, or if you solved xwords in the pre-Shortzian era. In the 21st century, this answer should be OPI, the exceedingly common brand of nail polish. But I guess that's something women would know more about than men, and, well, we can't have that ... (seriously, we can't, it's just not a thing we can have with this regime)

37D: Put pen to paper (WROTE) — I had WRITE. This was an interesting trap, given the theme.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Here's that "Grease" song, in case you're not familiar:

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Constructor:Alex Eaton-Salners

Relative difficulty:Medium?

THEME:ATOMIC NUMBERS (34-Across – What this puzzle's two-letter answers correspond with, given their locations in the grid): Two-letter entries that are the abbreviations of various elements are located at the clue number that matches their atomic numbers

Theme answers:

LI (3D) - Lithium is ATOMIC NUMBER 3 (pattern repeats below)
NE (10D) - Neon
CA (20A) - Calcium
TI (22A) - Titanium
SN (50A) - Tin
XE (54A) - Xenon
ND (60D) - Neodymium
SM (62D) - Samarium

Word of the Day: HENIE (49-Across: Sonja on the ice) —

Sonja Henie (8 April 1912 – 12 October 1969) was a Norwegian figure skater and film star. She was a three-time Olympic Champion (1928, 1932, 1936) in Ladies' Singles, a ten-time World Champion (1927–1936) and a six-time European Champion (1931–1936). Henie won more Olympic and World titles than any other ladies' figure skater. At the height of her acting career, she was one of the highest-paid stars in Hollywood and starred in a series of box-office hits, including Thin Ice (1937), My Lucky Star (1938), Second Fiddle (1939) and Sun Valley Serenade (1941).^[1]

• • •

Oh my god, why. Why is this a thing. I was so excited when I saw near-perfect 90º symmetry and two-letter entries because I thought it was going to be something interesting and then.... this.

(Did I sound like Rex there? This is Rachel Fabi, doing my best Rex impression because it is the only way I can channel how I feel about this puzzle).

Ok actually samarium does look kind of cool

But seriously, I just can't fathom the NYT Powers-That-Be deciding that *this* was the theme worth breaking the rules for. Neodymium and samarium? Pretty much no one knows or cares about neodymium or samarium, let alone has any use for knowing what their ATOMIC NUMBERS are. And with just a few shifts in the locations of black squares, the entire puzzle could be made again with different two-letter abbreviations from other ATNOS (the very worst crosswordese). I get that it's a nifty trick for the constructor, but for a solver? A solver who doesn't care about the abbreviations of elements and their ordering in the periodic table? Even worse is that the abbrevs are all clued in reference to the revealer; surely CA and LIand ND etc. could all have been clued in their own right (e.g. California, Jet Li or Lykke Li, North Dakota, etc), which would have made them at least a little more interesting.

The junk that was necessary to make this grid work is *painful* and the payoff is just not worth it. RLESS??? -AIRE?? ETAIL and LTE? YIPES! And even the fill that wasn't bad qua fill just felt super STALE(or past the sell-by date, say), as if the word list this was built from hadn't been updated since the early 2000s when ETAIL was cool. I have no issue with the entry SOOTY but wanted to use this place in the review to post the video for "Step in Time" as a musical interlude in this rant, so here we are:

I appreciate the long downs (RAN SMACK DAB INTO and GOING ON OUT A LIMB), but they do not make up for the absolute nothing of this theme. I also find BEGGED FOR MORE deeply off-putting, although the clue is fine.

I dunno, man. I really disliked this, which is a rare thing. I usually have to stretch to find things to critique in puzzles because I'm an occasional constructor and absolutely dread having someone say things like this about my own puzzles, but tonight I just can't muster a rosy review. So to the people who hate-read Rex, or who only come here for curmudgeonliness, you're welcome!

Bullets:

28D: Storied El Capitan climbing route (THE NOSE) — I saw Free Solo without knowing how it ended, and I was on the edge of my seat for basically the entire movie. It was beautifully shot and an interesting reflection on documentary filmmaking ethics, but also pretty hard to watch because of the relationship parts, so YMMV. Anyways, that's why I knew this one.

1D: Acis's lover in "Metamorphoses" (GALATEA) — Um, ok. I believe you.
61A: Stick-up artist? (MAESTRO) — Ok I actually liked this clue a lot! It's clever, I smiled when I got it, and it made me less angry about this puzzle overall
9D: Like Harvard Yard, in a Boston accent (RLESS) —But then we come back to RLESS. This should not be on anyone's word list in the year of our lord 2019!!! It's been used 12 other times in the Shortz era, and 11 of those times to refer to "when you shouldn't eat oysters," and it's just lazy fill. Delete it!

Thanks for the opportunity to rant at you all. Catch you next time Rex needs a break (or on other parts of the crossword internet, if you're into that kind of thing and/or certain other crossword publications with the words New York in their publication titles!)

Signed, Rachel Fabi, Queen-for-a-Day of Crossworld

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Constructor: Leslie Rogers

Relative difficulty: Easy (untimed)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: RASH GUARD (1A: Skintight swimwear for a surfer) —

A rash guard, also known as rash vest or rashie, is an athletic shirt made of spandex and nylon or polyester. The name rash guard reflects the fact that the shirt protects the wearer against rashescaused by abrasion, or by sunburn from extended exposure to the sun. These shirts can be worn by themselves, or under a wetsuit. A rash guard by itself is used for light coverage in warm to extreme summer temperatures for several watersports including surfing, canoe polo, water survival training, scuba diving, snorkeling, freediving, wakeboarding, bodysurfing, bodyboarding, windsurfing, kitesurfing, kayaking, stand up paddle surfing, or swimming. There are also lower body rash guards, which are similar to compression shorts to be worn under the surfers' boardshorts, but more specialized for surfers. (wikipedia)

• • •

Despite containing things I find moderately to very repulsive (billionaires, VEAL), and despite starting off kind of weakly in that NW corner, I ended up coming around on this one and liking it just fine. It's not that the NW is soooo bad. There were just two things that made it less than pleasurable for me, one of them my problem and the other one very much the puzzle's problem. *My* problem was not knowing RASH GUARD at all. In retrospect, I'm quite sure I've heard the term, and since I've worn skintight protective swimwear at the beach before, it's possible I've even had the term on my body before. But the term itself somehow sank in, and so getting that answer was, let's say, an adventure. Here's where the puzzle's problem kicks in—the fill up there is less than great. If I emerge from a NW corner and I've already had to deal with ANIMA and UNSNAG and REECE and ATTILA and ALEPH and INGA, let's just say I don't have super high hopes for how the rest of the grid is going to go. So heading out of the NW I was leery, but then POLAR BEAR PLUNGE was great (best thing in the grid, no question) and the rest of the puzzle ended up being perfectly solid and mostly clean. Infinitely more enjoyable than yesterday's puzzle (which I had the great pleasure of not-blogging—thank you, Rachel)

There weren't many times when I needed to UNSNAG myself—the puzzle was definitely on the easy side, with gimmes aplenty. At 7D: Fifth-century military leader (ATTILA) I had the two Ts and started writing in OTTO something something (this was truly the low point of the solve). I was super-suspicious of BOCA because I didn't think snowbirding in Mexico was *that* common ... turns out I got my BOCAs and my CABOs confused (BOCA Raton is of course in Florida) (53A: Where many snowbirds winter, for short). I knew a SCRIM was an *object* in the theater but I did not know it was the name of the fabric (3D: Fabric in theater curtains). I struggled a bit to figure out the ambiguous 26D: Pages, e.g. (AIDES). I tried to read the Game of Thrones novels and gave up and tried to watch the show and gave up so GOT clues will forever remain a mystery to me. There's got to be better ways to clue ALLEN, but no matter, I figure it out quickly from crosses. I just learned that Alfie ALLEN is the younger brother of singer Lily ALLEN, who wrote a song about him. A song called "Alfie." It is ... well, here, see for yourself:

I knew very well what "eschatology" meant but still, cluing END as an "event" feels very very much like a stretch (40A: Event studied in eschatology, with "the"). "End times,""End of the world,""End days," etc. those are all correct. When you call The END an "event" ... that's just unhelpful. It's a term from theology, and ought to have been more clearly clued as such. But, again, good work overall, I think. Solid, easy, relatively breezy Friday.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: Ryan McCarty

Relative difficulty: Easy (6:00 on an oversized 16x15, *with* a head cold, thankuverymuch!)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: SIGILS (20A: Ancient symbols of magic) —

1: SEAL, SIGNET

2: a sign, word, or device held to have occult power in astrology or magic (merriam-webster.com)

• • •

Well this was unexpected. And by this I mean "my ability to finish a Saturday puzzle with facility despite having a head cold that has recently entered what can only be described as the Repulsive stage. Early in a cold, you remain physically presentable, you just feel terrible. Later in the cold, you feel somewhat better, but are probably best kept indoors, out of public view, among loved ones who are legally required to abide your physical repulsiveness. Anyway, I'm on the mend, but disgusting, and I crushed this puzzle. There are many things to like about this puzzle. The longer answers in particular all seem quite solid. I just think you absolutely kill "DEAR EVAN HANSEN" by giving it that absolutely dreadful nondescript clue (32A: Musical that won six Tonys in 2017). I get that you want to make it hard, what with its being Saturday and all, but something, literally anything that might give a sense of the musical, any detail, any color, would've been Welcome. I got the answer easily—largely because I had -ANSEN before I even looked at the clue—but still, that clue is unimaginative and undermines the JOY that that kind of answer is supposed to bring into the solving experience.

The other thing that cut against enjoyment was a handful of truly grating (to my ear) answers. Let's start with AUTOPEN, which I really want to be a magical floating pen that just writes your signature over and over again real fast and then floats away on some kind of FLYING CARPET, but I doubt that's what it is (16A: Device for mass-producing signatures). It seems it's used by lazy famous people who want to send "signed" photos etc. to all of the people who request them? I dunno. The pic I'm staring at looks prehistoric. I mean, the wikipedia article on AUTOPEN mentions Truman, so ...

look at this dumb thing (it was Kennedy's)

I've never heard of this *and* it seems dated, so it grated (rhyming!). EXTRA ONE also grated, since people only ever say EXTRA and then the ONE is implied. Do you have a spare? Do you have an extra? Spare = Extra. Spare one = EXTRA ONE. I'm just not that thrilled about that answer as a stand-alone. Most grating off all answers was ECOTAGE, ugh, what, I mean, I got it because I've seen that stupid term in crosswords (and *only* in crosswords) before. I guess it's for when you saboTAGE the ECOsystem or something? Dumb. I wanted ECOCIDE, which is equally dumb, and which I equally have seen exclusively in crosswords, nowhere else, ever. ECOTAGE sounds like it's trying to be fancy. Like when you commit environmental extremism in an ascot or something. ECOCIDE is just so déclassé. It's all ECOTAGE these days among the environmental extremist jetset. After the fromage and decoupage—ECOTAGE! Long and short of it is I hate this answer. Most other stuff in this grid seems just fine, and I mostly enjoyed the solve. I was very very weirdly on the puzzle's wavelength, just blowing through potentially thorny things like SIGILS, MOTTST, SANDP, ELEVENTY, BEL AMI (after I discarded BONAMI), even ECOTAGE (after I ruled out -CIDE). Just lucky today, I guess. Gotta go get some hot water with lemon and honey and then lie under a blanket watching basketball til I fall asleep. More than you need to know, perhaps, but so be it.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. I'm getting mail about 10A: HHHHH (ETAS). "H" is the Greek letter ETA. So ... lots of H's = ETAS. Yeah, it's bad, but I've seen it a bunch before so I didn't even blink.

P.P.S. counterpoint to my AUTOPENANTIPATHY:

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Constructor: Christina Iverson and Jeff Chen

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (11:14)

THEME:"Doing a Double Take"— circled letters, read down the left and then down the right, read CASTOR and POLLUX. They are THE GEMINI (32A: This puzzle's subjects, by another name). So then ... OK, there's a baseball term TWIN KILLING (73D: Baseball double play, in slang ... or a hint to understanding the 12 Across answers that have circles), and that is supposed to explain the fact that you have to "kill" the "twin" (i.e. ignore the circled letters) in order to make sense of the Across themers. And then there's ST. ELMO'S FIRE, which has something to do with THE GEMINI, and so ties in ... that way ... (72D: Weather phenomenon whose double lights were said to represent this puzzle's subjects) here might be seven or eight more theme-related things in here that I can't say, but just explaining this much has been exhausting. Oh, and the themers themselves are twins, i.e. PITCHY appears twice, PRO TEAM appears twice, etc. But with different letters removed in each case, those answers play like two different words.

Theme answers:

PITCHYs are PITHY and ITCHY
PROTEAMs are PRO TEM and PR TEAM
STRIPLINGs are TRIPLING and STRIPING
LEVITES are LEVIES and E-VITES
MOUSSESes are MUSSES and MOSSES
BOXERSes are BOXES and BOERS

Word of the Day: ZOE (83D: Orange Sesame Street monster) —

Introduced [in 1993] to increase the number of strong female Sesame Street Muppets, Zoe is a three-year-old Muppet who loves to sing and dance. She is strong-willed, confident, has a big imagination, and owns a pet rock named Rocco. (wikipedia)

• • •

I have not had such visceral negative feelings about a puzzle *while I was solving it* in a good long while. It was not hard to pick up the circled letter gimmick, but it was a bit grim to have to navigate that gimmick twelve times and then to run into all these other quasi-revealers, one of which has to do with baseball, another with sailing... this is one of those puzzles that you are meant to ooh and aah at when you're done ("what an architectural marvel!") but the fill is so compromised, the grid so fussy, the expression of the theme so murky and strained, that I just don't get the appeal. I do not and will never understand why anyone would want to solve a puzzle that needs an explainer at the end so you can appreciate just how great it is and just how much you really should have enjoyed solving it. This puzzle lost me at OHIOART (what the actual hell??) and never got me back. The more complicated the theme seemed, the less I cared. No one says "YES, MOM." I'll give you YES, MAAM and YES, DEAR and then we're done. This puzzle's pretty biblical. GOEST *and* EAT OF??. And then the onslaught of short stuff, SYS SASE MAI etc I mean it's bludgeoning. I am quite certain that the layers of themeness here are many and intricate, and that making this took a good deal of technical skill. But I viscerally disliked solving this thing from about twenty seconds in until I was done, and then for a while after as I (resentfully) went back and hunted down all the theme elements. Give me one good AHA moment and you can take alllllllllll of this.
Much of this also was just either not on my wavelength or else ... just made up of things that I only kind of knew were things (PINE LOG, MUD TIRE ... those do sound thingish ... I suppose). No idea there was an AMELIA (Earhart?) biopic in '09, so no idea that Hilary Swank was in it, obviously. OHIOART, we've covered. I don't know any Sesame Street characters introduced since 1980 (except maybe Elmo??) so had trouble with ZOE (83D: Orange Sesame Street monster). There are actual human women named ZOE you could've gone to here, but ... moving on. Not familiar with TRITONE (128A: Interval known as "The devil in music" on account of its unsettling sound) and somehow that neverending explainy clue helped not at all (usu. when clues add explainy bits, they have helpful elements, not just random trivia). Whoever clued LPS (21D: Retro-cool music purchases) should be fired. No one buys LPS 'cause they're "retro-cool." Also, sales of LPS went *up* in the last decade, so ... not as "retro" as you might think. Also probably not really "cool" at all. Also, "Cool" is in the grid so shouldn't be in your clue in the first place. Also, "I'M COOL" is what you say when someone offers you ... food? Drugs? I'd say "I'm good," or "I'm set."
ONKP rears its dumb head again—really thought that answer was dead. All this short fill, in such a huge grid, really just ground me down. Again, "fussy" is the word that feels most relevant. A rococo theme and then all these nooks and crannies filled with the dust of crosswords past (HST!). I'm gonna stop talking about this puzzle now because it's not going to go anywhere good. Again, I tip my hat to the elaborate theme construction. If someone just showed this to me and explained it, I'd probably be duly impressed. Problem was I had to actually solve it. And that has made all the difference.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. was going to do a crossword subscription gift guide this week, but have been sick all week soooo I'll do it next week.

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Constructor: Howard Barkin and Kevin Christian

Relative difficulty: Easy (2:49)

THEME: ELVES (65A: What the answer to each of the starred clues has)— they do indeed "have" (as in "feature") ELVES:

Theme answers:

"LORD OF THE RINGS" (20A: *Trilogy set in Middle-earth, with "The")
RICE KRISPIES BOX (37A: *Container for a Kellogg's cereal)
SANTA'S WORKSHOP (48A: *Reputed place at the North Pole)

Word of the Day: MADEA (17A: Recurring Tyler Perry movie role) —

Mabel Earlene "Madea" Simmons is a character created and portrayed by Tyler Perry. She is a tough, elderly African American woman.
Vindictive in nature, Madea gets even in a bad crazy way. When asked by Dr. Phil why she felt the need to get somebody all the time, Madea answered: "Well when you gettin' got and somebody done got you and you go get them, when you get 'em, everybody's gon' get got." Additionally, Madea has a tendency to overreact and is willing to threaten to use deadly weapons, destroy property, use physical violence, take on the law, and use any and all means necessary to show up an offending party. Incorrigible in her overreactive ways, Madea has repeatedly landed herself in court (usually before Judge Mablean), anger management classes, house arrest, and even prison. (wikipedia)

• • •

This is very very vanilla in concept and execution, but, you know, I like vanilla pretty well. Theme is exceedingly straightforward, but it holds together, and the fill is never repulsive, and it's got a decent longer Down or two, and a funny little bonus theme answer down there with the ELVES in the SE (PÈRE Noël!). So YES, this will do. The shakiest answer—RICE KRISPIES BOX—which would never seem non-ridiculous standing on its own as regular old fill, ends up being actually the most interesting of the themers. It's also one of the few things that caused me to lose time today (a day where I finished in 2:49, which puts my last three Monday times all within one second (!) of each other). The word "Container" in the clue did not convey "packaging" to me but maybe a place you store cereal, or even a cereal bowl. So even though I could see the opening was RICE KRISPIES, I genuinely had no idea what the last three letters were until I went after the crosses. I also had trouble with the DESK part of HEADDESK (5D: Physical expression of frustration, in modern lingo). I always thing of HEADDESK as something you say, a metaphor for how you feel, rather than something you actually do, so "Physical expression" threw me a bit. Worst problem, though, was having the -ER at the end of 25A: Nag, nag, nag (BADGER) and throwing down PESTER. This made DICEY (slightly tough to get under the best conditions) impossible to see. Had to work back up from BAEZ and SLY to fix that little snafu. After that, no sweat until my inevitable confusion of OLAF and OLAV at 54D: Name of many Norwegian kings.

This grid looks almost like a template of late 20th-century early-week grids. So plain. Three long Across themers (three used to be much more common, something closer to the norm), and then a grid divided into nine more-or-less discrete little segments of roughly 3x5 or 4x4. This does tend lead to the emblandening of the puzzle, as there is only So Much you can do with a small corner, and when you give yourself nine of them, well good luck! But as I say, today they are all at least clean, and the grid does allow for a solid quartet of 8-letter Downs. It's not most festive Christmas puzzle I've ever done, but it does what it does just fine. My favorite part of the solve was seeing 47A: One more than bi-, seeing that the answer was three letters long, and wanting only PAN-. Then I realized we were talking muscles, not sexuality, and the somewhat less adventurous TRI- went in. Good day.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Constructor: David Levinson Wilk

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (I think ... I solved it on clipboard while watching basketball, so I don't really know, but it felt like it would've taken me a little longer than a typical Tuesday at full speed)

THEME: word-LESS clues: — themers are phrases following the model ___-LESS ___; clues represent the answers literally, by removing from the clue all letters in the word that precedes -LESS in the answer. Thus:

Theme answers:

ODORLESS GASS (17A: _xygen _iflu__ide) (because "oxygen difluoride" is a gas, so without the letters o, d, o, r, it's an ODORLESS GAS)
TIRELESS WORKER (22A: _ax_ d_iv_r)
HEADLESS CHICKEN (36A: R_od_ Isl_n_ Red)
FEARLESS LEADER (46A: _ranklin D_l_no _ossevelt)
HAIRLESS DOG (54A: __rr_e_)

Word of the Day: harrier (the seemingly ironically-named HAIRLESS DOG) —

The Harrier is a medium-sized dog breed of the hound class, used for hunting hares by trailing them. It resembles an English Foxhound but is smaller, though not as small as a Beagle. (wikipedia)

• • •

"But ... but ... I haz hair. My
coat is ruff!"

Ok so the first thing we should clear up is that the theme clues are actually frequently wrong if taken at the level of word meaning. That is, Oxygen difluoride not only has an odor, that odor is described on its wikipedia page as "peculiar, foul." A harrier is not, in fact, a hairless dog. Rhode Island Reds do, mostly, have heads, I'm sure. You can make your own call on the accuracy of the taxi drive and FDR answers. This isn't a fault of the theme. The theme works *solely* at the letter-level. Although ... now that I think about it, you can make a very good case that taxi drivers are, in fact, pretty tireless workers, and FDR was not just arguably fearless, he was the guy who delivered the Most Famous Quote Ever ever about the importance of being fearless: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." I think this gets to why I found the theme concept, in theory, kind of cute, but in practice, kind of clunky. The theme set felt very loose and arbitrary. Two of the answers seem apt descriptions of their clues, while three are demonstrably false. I dunno. It's fine. I did not hate this, by any means. It just feels a bit (ironically?) shaggy. But as I say, the concept is cute enough to carry it, and the fill, while in no way exciting, is not egregious. So this gets a passing grade from me.

But about that fill. Here's the thing. Sigh. OK, so this would've worked far, far better, I think, and been cleaner and more enjoyable, with four themers instead of five. Why? Well, five puts a lot of structural demands on the grid, and the way *this* grid has handled that burden is by going to a high (max) word count, which is *fine*, except in this case what that means is that ~95% of the non-theme fill is 3, 4, or 5 letters long. There are just four answers that are 6 letters long, and There Are No Answer Longer Than That. It is very hard, if not impossible, to create a grid with any life or personality or zazz or spark or whatever, when you're stuck with all short stuff. At that point, you're mostly just trying to be Not Terrible (and I think this puzzle succeeds at that). But if your highlights (outside the theme) are RASSLE GRAPES HALVES and BADASS, then I submit to you that you have exactly one actual highlight (BADASS), and even that is rather tame. It's not like this grid needed five themers. Seems like the kind of theme that could've run to a dozen. How many -LESS things are there in the world? A bunch, I'm guessing. And by a bunch I mean a ton, a lot, a slew, etc. The point is, the theme set was never ever going to be tight, so opting for four (rather than 5) themers and making a somewhat cleaner, someone snappier grid seems like it might've been the better option. Just a thought.

No real trouble today. Just CHART for GRAPH (1A: Boardroom easel display), and then real problems (still) getting WASH from 26D: Load of laundry—"laundry" and "WASH" feel like the equivalents, so having "Load" as your clue feels awkward. I forgot MSN existed at all, let alone as a [Browser option]. People (still) use that? Anyway, these were just minor stumbling blocks. Mostly it felt like an ordinary Tuesday in terms of difficulty.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Margaret Saine

Relative difficulty: Mediumish (4:48)

THEME: editing— a convoluted sentence, inside of which are circled words that, taken together, form a well-edited version of said sentence:

Theme answers:

EDITING A DRAFT OF (17A: Start of a long-winded musing from an author)
WRITING WELL IS (35A: Musing, part 2)
SURELY AN ART FORM (53A: End of the musing, which could simply have been the circled squares)

Word of the Day: PASEO (31A: Public walkway) —

1a: a leisurely usually evening stroll : PROMENADE
b: a public walk or boulevard

2: a formal entrance march of bullfighters into an arena (merriam-webster.com)

• • •

As with yesterday's puzzle, there seems to be a significant gap between what the constructor wanted to do and what the constructor did. That is, the concept was sound, but the execution was less so. Only yesterday, the puzzle still managed to hold up, however totteringly. This one isn't so lucky. For me, the main problem is that the original, unedited sentence is entirely implausible that I couldn't make any grammatical sense of it at all while solving, and that even now does not seem like a sentence that any human would ever write—certainly no human that had written well enough in the past to have made it to the stage where they would actually *have* an editor. The thing that well (!) and truly kills the plausibility of the sentence is WELL. It took me forever (OK, maybe half a minute or so, which is Forever) after solving to figure out that WELL was an adverb modifying EDITING (!?). I just kept thinking "what is a 'draft of writing well'???!" Ditch the WELL and at least I have a plausible (however outlandish) bad sentence that I can imagine being edited into shape. The WELL is just a tin-eared disaster. The unedited sentence is a bad bad sentence. Not bad comma bad. Bad modifying bad. And if the subject of your puzzle is the art of editing, well ... I mean ... here, I'll let this tweet tell it:

FORM crossing ... FORMED

How in—and I cannot stress this enough—the world do you let FORMED (44D: Gave shape to) cross FORM, in *any* puzzle, let alone one that is specifically about the art of editing!? This may be the greatest self-own in the history of crossword puzzle editing. I guess the NYTXW really *is* the "gold standard* after all. Bravo!

Five things:

35D: East Coast 7-Eleven competitor (WAWA)— apparently this is a Philly thing (??). I'm sure I've seen one, but I've never lived anywhere near one and I needed every cross to get this answer
1D: Cheap and inauthentic (CHEESY)— I had CHEAPO. You can see how that was never going to work
8D: One who's "out" (ODD MAN) — man does he look ... odd ... all by himself there, without the "out" ...
33A: Craze (MANIA) — had -ANI-, wrote in PANIC
24D: Illustration for an ill tourist? (ANAGRAM)— I tend to find [blank for blank?] clues for ANAGRAM exasperating, but this one's so bonkers, I kinda like it (to be very very extra clear, "Illustration" is an ANAGRAM of "an ill tourist")

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Andy Kravis and Erik Agard

Relative difficulty: Medium (6:06)

THEME: STATE LINE (60A: Geographic demarcation that separates the two possible answers in this puzzle's circled squares) — one of two state codes, from abutting states, can be used in each of the circled squares (I guess you're supposed to put them both in there, next to each other)

Theme answers:

1A: Club fee / "Hell no!" (COVER / NEVER) / 1D: Dale Evans, for one / Zooey Deschanel TV series (COWGIRL / "NEW GIRL") (Colorado and Nebraska)
17A: Executive's perk, maybe / It might fit in a tight spot (COMPANY CAR / COMPACT CAR) / 15D: "Volunteers?" / Play's start ("ANYONE?" / ACT ONE) (New York and Connecticut)
47A: Smacks hard / Types (SWATS / SORTS) / 23D: Obstructing / On paper (IN THE WAY / IN THEORY) (Washington and Oregon)
49A: "Ghostbusters" director Harold / Pours (RAMIS / RAINS) / 51D: Move / Unappreciative person (MIGRATE / INGRATE) (Michigan and Indiana)

Word of the Day: Chrissy METZ (57D: "This Is Us" co-star Chrissy) —

Christine Michelle Metz (born September 29, 1980) is an American actress and singer. She is known for playing Kate Pearson in the NBC drama This Is Us, for which she has earned Best Supporting Actress nominations at the Primetime Emmy Awards (2017) and Golden Globe Awards(2017 and 2018). (wikipedia)

• • •

[There is a factual error in this puzzle. Ivan Reitman directed "Ghostbusters," not Harold RAMIS. It was co-written by RAMIS, and co-starred RAMIS, but RAMIS was absolutely positively not the "director." Between this mistake, and having FORM crossing FORMED in yesterday's grid, it has not been a banner week for editorial competence over at the NYTXW.]

[Update: I am told that the clue has been fixed in the app—I'm assuming the bad clue made it to print]

I solved this in a .puz file (downloaded onto my laptop), as I always do, and this one came with a note (which appears as a little yellow rectangle in the upper left of the interface, which you have to click on to read). I resent notes so I don't read them. Solved this one just fine without knowing the contents of the note, and in the end, the note didn't tell me anything I didn't already know: that the puzzle works better visually in the print edition, where the theme squares are slashed so you can write in the state codes of both states. I just entered the state code for one of the two and hoped that that would work. And it didn't. But then I just hit "Reveal All" and the only squares that came up "wrong" were the theme ones, where ... I don't know what you were supposed to actually put in those squares. Whatever. The point is, the note was unnecessary and distracting. Looks like the app has a similar message about the theme being better experienced in print. In the end, it didn't matter much. The thme was easy to uncover and I knew what was going on and sure it would've been aesthetically pleasing to see the two state codes abutting one another in the grid the way the states abut IRL, but I didn't miss the visual much. And the puzzle is good! I've seen state code-based puzzles a jillion times over the years, and I've seen Schrödinger puzzles before (the BOBDOLE / CLINTON one comes to mind), but this combination of these two familiar theme elements is quite original. And the quality of the fill overall is really marvelous. (Sidenote: Erik Agard is the editor of the USA Today crossword puzzle now and man you should really be doing them, they are remarkable and very much worthy of your time)
No sour faces from me while solving today, except, aptly, at MEAN MUGS (11D: Glares sourly at, in modern lingo), which sounds pretty flimsy and also like a '30s comic strip about hapless gangsters. It was inferrable, ultimately, and I'll just trust that this is (at least for now) a real thing somewhere in the universe. I can tolerate a lot of "modern lingo" that I don't know if it doesn't send my solve into a complete tailspin. Fair crossings! They're important! Nothing else bugged me. It really is a BEAUT of a grid. Speaking of BEAUT, I had the -EA--, saw the clue (28A: Humdinger) and Did Not Hesitate to write in (... drumroll ...) PEACH! As in "im_____ment." Timely!
Five things:

18A: "Sh" or "wr" (DIGRAPH)— two characters, one phoneme. I wanted DIGRAM. I was happy to see that a DIGRAPH ... is a DIGRAM, they're the same thing.
53A: Mac platform (OS/X) — fully blanked on this. Wanted IOS. The fact that I'm currently working on a Mac that runs OS/X ... yes, that is humorous.
67A: Owner of Words With Friends (ZYNGA) — I both resent dumb corporate names being in my puzzle aaaaaaand was really proud of my brain for remembering this one
33D: Not as much (LESS SO) — this is one of those answer where I got the first part and the answer felt complete, but I still had more squares to fill. Me: "LESS ... that's it! That's the answer! What are these other squares doing here!"
46D: Takes off (EXITS) — so ambiguous. So many possible meanings. I think I had OMITS in here. I must've had the -ITS. Even then, EXITS didn't occur to me.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. to all of you complaining about the METZ / ZYNGA crossing ... you are correct to complain. Two proper nouns crossing at a very-hard-to-infer letter is not a thing you ever want to have in your grid. I'd argue that "Z" makes most sense, so it is, in some sense, inferrable, but ... it's still a very, very rough cross. If you said it was a "Natick," I would not disagree with you.

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Zhouqin Burnikel

Relative difficulty: Maybe on the hard side ... I solved it on a clipboard, on my couch, half-watching "Christmas at Dollywood" on the Hallmark Channel ... the grid is oversized, at any rate (16x15)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: FURMAN University (51A: University near the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains) —

Furman University is a private liberal arts university in Greenville, South Carolina. Founded in 1826 and named for the clergyman Richard Furman, Furman University is the oldest private institution of higher learning in South Carolina. It became a secular university in 1992, while keeping Christo et Doctrinae (For Christ and Learning) as its motto. It enrolls approximately 2,700 undergraduate students and 200 graduate students, representing 46 states and 53 foreign countries, on its 750-acre (304 ha) campus. (wikipedia)

• • •

C.C. (Zhouqin on her NYTXW bylines) is one of my favorite constructors. She had an APPLETURNOVER puzzle in the Universal Crossword (ed. David Steinberg) earlier this week that I thought was a near-perfect early-week gem: vertical themers inside of each of which was hidden the name of a variety of apple, running upward (i.e. so, literally turned over). She is prolific and has gotten demonstrably better over the past decade or however long she's been constructing. Glad to see her name on a themeless puzzle (Fri/Sat puzzles tend to be dominated by men even more than the themed stuff). This one played way off my wavelength—though distracted solving may have had something to do with that. Usually when I solve, I can't have any distractions. This time I was curled up on the couch w/ my clipboard and a cup of tea, just letting the Hallmark Christmas universe bathe me in its tepid festive glow. So I never really picked up any momentum with this one. Lots of trouble right away, not knowing SONYA, and thinking the [Alternative to white] was RED (it's RYE). Wanted ICY GLARE not STARE. Thought SHAHs were exclusively Persian and so had no idea about this Jahan guy at 20A. The real wall, though, was NUCOR, which I am literally seeing for the first time today. Never heard of it, never seen it. Hilarious (to me) that this can be true when it's the [Largest steel producer in the U.S.]. It's never been in the NYTXW before today, which seems bizarre if it's so major. But if it's the largest, then it's worthy. It's just ... it was five random letters to me. Also new to me, FURMAN, a name I know only from the OJ trial. But that's OK, sometimes you don't know stuff. Things were a little smoother for me in the eastern half of the grid, with "ABOUT THAT..." being the highlight for me. There weren't that many real highlights, and it was a bit trivia/name-heavy, but most of this was lively and solid. I will take it.
I got LASER PEEL pretty easily, though I have next to no idea what it entails (27A: Treatment that reduces wrinkles). I'm guessing they don't just shoot lasers at your face and then peel your face off to reveal a different (better?) face underneath. Stunned that they didn't do that cutesy linked-clue thing with AUSTIN (home of University of Texas) and LONGHORNS (the Texas mascot/team name). Seems like a missed opportunity. Not like any of the clues they're using are so great. Lotta lotta lotta names today. I won't list them all, but I'm guessing that at least some of these gave a bunch of solvers trouble: NUCOR, FURMAN, LOGAN, LAMAR, NAST, NANTZ, SONYA ... interesting that the names are more concentrated in the middle and western parts of the grid (which were also the parts where I was slower). The DEMI MOORE clue would've been great if DEMI MOORE had annnnything to do with singing. But she doesn't. So it's just weird. (18A: Actress whose full name can be made from the letters of DO RE MI)

Beyond my struggles with the proper nouns I didn't know, there weren't that many real holdups. Had SENATE RUN instead of SENATE BID (47A: Congressional campaign). Biggest comprehension problem came at 33D: "Really, now? Really!?" ("CAN YOU NOT!?"), largely because those don't seem equivalent at all, to me. Or, rather, the clue seems like it might be uttered in any number of contexts, in any number of tones, while the answer has a very narrow range of meaning, i.e. "Stop it!" I actually had "CAN YOU, NOW?" written in the grid for a bit, which continues my weird habit this week of writing in answer that contain clue words, i.e. that are obviously incorrect. This error led to trouble with 61A: Tricks (GETS), which I had as GEWS, which led me to seriously consider that this was some slangy term (like GEWGAWS?) that had somehow managed to elude me lo these 50 years. Then I had trouble with MPG, which I thought might be MPH ... (???) ... I've never been in an electric car, so I don't know what MPG is being ... converted ... to (55D: No. that's converted for electric cars). This miniature train wreck in the far SW was probably the most significant slow-down for me (outside of NUCOR). I think the main lesson today is, don't Hallmark and solve, kids. Turn the TV off. "Christmas at Dollywood" will still be there for you when the puzzle's over.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. NAST is Thomas NAST, an enormously important political cartoonist who used to appear in the crossword more often (52D: Early illustrator of Uncle Sam). His cartoons are responsible for popularizing the donkey and elephant as symbols of our two major political parties.

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Julian Lim

Relative difficulty: Easy-Challenging (I dunno, I solved it after waking from a nap, so it was probably Easyish but I couldn't make sense of the upper west coast to save my life)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: HOTSY-TOTSY (28A: A-O.K.) —

slang

: comfortably stable or secure : PERFECT, OKhad a quarrel, but everything is hotsy-totsy now (coined about 1926 by Billie De Beck†1942 American cartoonist) (merriam-webster)

***

William Morgan DeBeck (April 15, 1890 – November 11, 1942), better known as Billy DeBeck, was an American cartoonist. He is most famous as the creator of the comic strip Barney Google, later retitled Barney Google and Snuffy Smith. The strip was especially popular in the 1920s and 1930s, and featured a number of well-known characters, including the title character, Bunky, Snuffy Smith, and Spark Plug the race horse. Spark Plug was a merchandising phenomenon, and has been called the Snoopy of the 1920s.
DeBeck drew with a scratchy line in a "big-foot" style, in which characters had giant feet and bulbous noses. His strips often reflected his love of sports. In 1946, the National Cartoonists Society inaugurated the Billy DeBeck Memorial Awards (or the Barney Awards), which became the Reuben Award in 1954. [...] DeBeck is credited with introducing or popularizing a number of neologisms and catchphrases via Barney Google, including "heebie-jeebies", "horsefeathers", "hotsy totsy", "balls of fire", "time's a-wastin'", "touched in the head", and "bodacious". (wikipedia)

• • •

This 40-black-squares look, I don't know. Seems like a lot of real estate to cede to black squares on a Saturday. Last week's Saturday puzzle had just 30, and *that* one was 16-wide. The puzzle felt ... spindly. The huge black cross formations made me wonder if there wasn't going to be some kind of theme, some kind of visual ... pun or something. But no, there's just a ridiculous number of black squares. And for what? So that ... what can happen, exactly? It's a minor point, in the end, I guess, but I found this one aesthetically off-putting from the get-go. The grid was OK but the cluing seemed awkward and tin-eared in many places, and a couple of those marquee answers felt dated (in two very different ways). Let's start with HOTSY-TOTSY, which ... what? How does this clue not at least have an "in times of yore," or "in OLDEN-speak" tag on it. I've never heard a soul use this term—looks like it had its heyday in the '20s (nineteen-20s ... dang, I'm gonna have to start specifying!) (see "Word of the Day," above). It also looks like it means [Sexy, to your grandpa]. Maybe I'm extrapolating slightly from "hot to trot," I don't know. For a term that hasn't been popular in any way in my lifetime, I think you gotta do something better than just [A-O.K.]. Or, how's this, don't use it in the first place. It looks colorful (i.e. it has that wacky rhyming slangy thing going for it), but with no real currency, it's just going to be befuddling and annoying.
Differently dated, to my ear, is SQUADGOALS, which was a hot hashtag back in ... I wanna say 2015? (42A: Clique's aspirations, in modern lingo). Actually, as I write that, I get the feeling that I have written it before. And I have (earlier this year). I love current stuff in puzzles, but you gotta be fast. Memes and hashtags Do Not Age Well. I got SQUADGOALS easy, but that answer makes this puzzle look like an old person (i.e. me) desperately trying to seem young. Like when you try to use that term that the kids are using in front of your kid and your kid just rolls her eyes. Like when middle-aged white people started saying "bling." Like that. Here's an interesting article about how white people co-opted the term from black culture. I guess the main thing I want to stress here is you gotta use hot things while they're hot and then move on. Both jazz-era slang and social media hashtags have shelf lives that need to be respected. Hashtag shelf life is much, much shorter. I think SQUADGOALS still has currency (I got it easily enough, people are still using it on Twitter), but the fact that it's ringing bygone to my ears means that the "in modern lingo" bit is precarious. Is "bling" modern lingo? Is "phat?" What do you call slang that's defined by its cultural novelty but that then gets old? Tell me, daddy-O! How do you know when your term has slid from "modern lingo" into "erstwhile lingo"?
The worst part of the solve for me came at the end, in the NW, and here the tin-eared / awkward cluing really comes into play. I had JUN- and still no idea about JUNK E-MAIL because I the terms that humans use are "junk mail" or "spam" (1D: Target of some filters). JUNK E-MAIL is certainly a recognizable term, in that if you said it, people would know what you're talking about, but people actually *say* "junk mail" or "spam." The bigger problem here, though, was all the answers that JUNK EMAIL ran through, none of which I could figure out, two of which were cross-referenced in an unimaginably awkward way. So the idea, I guess, is that refugees from Vietnam came to ... the U.S.? ... via GUAM. But the wording on the 'NAM clue, my god (24A: Origin of many refugees once in 26-Across, for short). The "once in" was the confusing part. Does that mean "Who had once been in"? "Once they got to"? Also, 'NAM is not a thing people who did not serve there *ever* call Vietnam. Using it as a casual abbr. for a place name always feels wrong. 'NAM isn't just "for short." If you were planning a trip to southeast Asia, you wouldn't talk about going to 'NAM. It's Vietnam. But the bigger issue here is the clue phrasing, and the weird status of GUAM in all this. It's just such a clunky way to try to get a cross-reference going. And then to do that clunky cross-reference with abutting words!? Turned that whole area into a nightmare. Throw in the fact that ELIA was very hard (34A: Man's name meaning "Jehovah is God") (it is a man's name, obviously, but I can name only one ... unless you count essayist Lamb's pseudonym, which I don't), and POKE was hard (17A: ___ fun), and I just got destroyed up there. Total freefall. Oh, and I wanted SANTIAGO for a bit too at 13D: Two-time host city of the FIFA World Cup (SAO PAULO). I had just the SA- and -O to go on for a bit—weird that those three letters sent me to a wrong answer that is so weirdly adjacent to the right answer (another soccer-loving South American city).

So there was HOTSY-TOTSY and there was that NW corner with its NAM/GUAM mess. The rest was a blur. That was my experience.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Laura Taylor Kinnel

Relative difficulty: Medium (10:28)

THEME:"Down For The Count" — a multi-level "T"-themed puzzle, where the number of "T"s in each themer is the answer that crosses each themer, starting at the dead center and dropping down, thus making a "T" of sorts each time. So the numbers down the middle of the grid (which progress from TWO through FIVE) both indicate the number of "T"s in the themer they cross and form the downstroke of a "T" shape—the whole concept is brought together by the revealer, TEETOTALERS (39A: Abstainers ... or the central column's answers vis-à-vis 20-, 39-, 74- and 101-Across)

Theme answers:

MULTIPLICATIVE INVERSE / TWO
TEETOTALERS / THREE
BABIES 'R' US / JUST KIDDING
THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY / FOUR
"TUTTI FRUTTI" / FIVE

Word of the Day: ABSCISSA (11D: The 1 in (1,2), in math) —

In mathematics, the abscissa (/æbˈsɪs.ə/; plural abscissae or abscissæ or abscissas) and the ordinate are respectively the first and second coordinate of a point in a coordinate system. (wikipedia)

• • •

Very mixed feelings here. Like, all over the map. Started out feeling not very good at all, as the fill seemed decidedly subpar. Can't remember the last time I saw SPEE anywhere, yikes. I know it only because I used to do crosswords in the '90s, when megacrosswordese roamed the earth. Between that and ISS RES ISDONE etc. I did not have high hopes for how this thing was gonna go. And honestly, it didn't get too much better. Surprised to see old not-friends like SPEE and ATMAN and ILLE (!?!?). GERALDS and SESAMES are both absurd plurals. MDL couldn't be a randomer Roman numeral if it tried. NONA x/w JAROMIR was harrowing. I just felt like I was wincing a lot. The theme was leaving me cold, too, so far as I could understand it. MULTIPLICATIVE INVERSE is far too technical a term for me to love. THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY has that gratuitous THE to pick up its fourth "T." I was able to write in TWO THREE FOUR and FIVE very early, without really realizing why they were right. I could just see that there was a sequence developing, and they all fit, and the crosses checked out. And then ... it seems a bit of stretch to ask me to see see the answers + number of "T"S as forming the shape of a "T" each time. Those are very very top-heavy "T"s, if that is indeed part of the theme. Only when I was done did I realize that the number crossing each themer corresponded to the number of "T"s in each themer (the "T" total, as it were). That is of course the primary point of the theme. The fact that the intersecting themer / number form a kind of "T" seems like a kind of secondary / bonus theme feature. Are all those "T"-shaped black-square formations supposed to be part of the theme. I'm seeing "T"s everywhere now. A conspiracy of "T"s. . .

So actually solving this brought more lows than highs, which is a problem. Figuring out the theme after-the-fact brought my appreciation back up some, and I want to point out one particularly ambitious aspect of the theme that you might not have noticed. I'm not sure it was strictly necessary, but: the constructor decided that, as part of this TEE-TOTALERS theme, the "T"s that are totaled (i.e. the "T"s in the themers) would be The Only "T"s In The Whole Grid. There are no "T"s in non-theme answers. None. Zero. That's actually very elegant touch, but it also adds a huge level of difficulty. After all, "T" is a very common letter. Hard enough to construct a smooth grid when you get to use all the letters of the alphabet; take away a common letter like "T" and you are in trouble (and that starts with "T" and that rhymes with "P" and that stands for, uh, POSY!). And when I saw the "T"-lessness of the grid (outside the themers), I suddenly had much more sympathy for the bumpy fill. At least there's a reason. At least she was trying to do something big, trying to add tightness and crispness and artistry to this theme that *already* had at least two layers to it. Weak fill is weak fill, and it's hard for me to get past, but this puzzle is trying to keep a Lot of balls in the air at once, and I have to admire the ambition. Ambitious imperfection is so so so much more appealing than mere adequacy, to say nothing of the kind of laziness we see much more often than we should. So even though I didn't exactly like solving this one, I think it's a very promising debut indeed.

As promised, here are some last-minute puzzle subscription gift ideas:

American Values Club Crossword: the premier independent crossword puzzle. Imaginative, contemporary puzzles from an extremely talented and diverse group of constructors. You should already be a subscriber. Go ahead and make someone else a subscriber too.
Matt Gaffney's Weekly Crossword Contest: Matt's contest is by now an institution with a sizeable solving fanbase. Every Friday he releases a metacrossword. You have the weekend to figure out the meta answer. Puzzles cycle through difficulty levels week to week, from pretty easy to Ouch OMG Help! When you get the answer, you enter it on his website, and you can see if you're right and see how many others got it. There are prizes for randomly selected successful solvers. Matt's a great constructor and his contest is justly famous. For the serious solver who wants to spice things up, this subscription is just the thing.
Crossword Nation: Liz Gorski used to be a frequent and beloved contributor to the NYTXW, but she has taken her talents elsewhere, as they say, and one of those places is her own weekly easy themed crossword puzzle. This would make a great gift for someone who enjoys solving but still struggles with late-week puzzles—or for anyone who likes cute current delicious puzzles.
Queer Qrosswords 2: 2 Queer 2 Qurious: Nate Cardin was so successful with his first go at a collection of crosswords to benefit LGBTQIA+ charities that he decided to do another one! It's easy: donate to one of a number of charities, show your receipts, get your puzzles (from some of the best constructors in the business). Do it! Give it as a gift! Go on!
Women of Letters: Patti Varol put together this collection of crosswords by women constructors, to benefit "women-centric charities." As with Queer Qrosswords, you donate to a charity, show your receipts, get your puzzles. Great causes, great puzzles. Go for it.
Outside the Box puzzles (by Joon Pahk): I don't normally go too far into the world of non-crosswords, but the Variety puzzles and Rows Garden puzzles (so fun! see the sample here if you're not familiar with this type of puzzle!) available here are crossword-adjacent enough for me. If you want to diversify your (or someone else's!) puzzling fare, subscribe to Year 5 of Outside Box. Now. Go on!
Fireball Newsflash Crosswords 2020: man I love these things. Biweekly crosswords that Peter builds with answers straight out of recent headlines. If something's in the news, chances are you'll see it here first (crossword-wise). These puzzles are hypercurrent and force me to have to deal on a regular basis with names I don't know—a very important solving skill to have. The Kickstarter for next season (2020) ends at 10pm EST *tonight*, so get over there and subscribe, or buy someone a subscription, and add a newsy dimension to your (or someone else's) solving experience.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Timothy Polin

Relative difficulty: Felt hardish, but ... no. Clock says it was very Easy indeed (2:39) ... ah, I see now that it's only 14-wide. That explains it ...

THEME: SPIN THE DREIDEL (57A: Play a game during Hanukkah ... with a hint to 15-, 21-, 42- and 47-Across)— circled letters inside of themers contain the letters in DREIDEL all spun around (i.e. jumbled):

Theme answers:

MIDDLE RELIEVER (15A: Pitcher between a starter and a closer)
SLED RIDE (21A: Snow day activity)
HIGH-SPEED DRILL (42A: Metalworker's tool)
RED DELICIOUS (47A: Popular apple variety)

Word of the Day: ELROND (63A: Tolkien's Lord of Rivendell) —

Elrond Half-elven is a fictional character in J. R. R. Tolkien's Middle-earth legendarium. He is introduced in The Hobbit, and plays a supporting role in The Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion. // In The Lord of the Rings film trilogy and The Hobbit trilogy directed by Peter Jackson, Elrond is portrayed by Hugo Weaving. (wikipedia)

• • •

Struggled repeatedly and still ended up near a record Monday time. Now, the grid is undersized, at just 14 squares wide, but still there was a huge discrepancy between how difficult this puzzle felt and how quickly I actually moved through it—between perceived and actual difficulty. I forgot who built the New World pyramids, forgot MARA Liasson's name (Liane Hansen was causing interference) needed several crosses to get DOTCOM (7A: Amazon or eBay), wrote in WIKI (?) before WIFI (25D: What'll help you see the sites?), have no idea what a HIGH-SPEED DRILL really is, and never really processed the name ELROND, so needed all the crosses there as well. And still: 2:39. Bizarre. Didn't love this one as I was solving it, and found the revealer kind of underwhelming (the idea of mixing up a bunch of common letters like that just isn't terrible exciting, conceptually). But the more that I look it over, the more I think it's pretty good. HIGH-SPEED DRILL is a shrug, but the rest of the themers are fine, and if you think of it as an easy themeless with a little holiday message at the end, it's just fine. And they got the holiday puzzle publication date right! Today is the first full day of Hanukkah, so Happy Hanukkah to all you who celebrate!

I'm gonna reprint my last-minute holiday gift guide from yesterday. I hope some of you find it useful. Since I posted yesterday, Fireball Newsflash Crosswords 2020 made its Kickstarter funding goal, so another season is guaranteed, which is nice. Also, I've added Eric Berlin's "Puzzlesnacks" to the list. So here you go (again):

American Values Club Crossword: the premier independent crossword puzzle. Imaginative, contemporary puzzles from an extremely talented and diverse group of constructors. You should already be a subscriber. Go ahead and make someone else a subscriber too.
Matt Gaffney's Weekly Crossword Contest: Matt's contest is by now an institution with a sizeable solving fanbase. Every Friday he releases a metacrossword. You have the weekend to figure out the meta answer. Puzzles cycle through difficulty levels week to week, from pretty easy to Ouch OMG Help! When you get the answer, you enter it on his website, and you can see if you're right and see how many others got it. There are prizes for randomly selected successful solvers. Matt's a great constructor and his contest is justly famous. For the serious solver who wants to spice things up, this subscription is just the thing.
Crossword Nation: Liz Gorski used to be a frequent and beloved contributor to the NYTXW, but she has taken her talents elsewhere, as they say, and one of those places is her own weekly easy themed crossword puzzle. This would make a great gift for someone who enjoys solving but still struggles with late-week puzzles—or for anyone who likes cute current delicious puzzles.
Queer Qrosswords 2: 2 Queer 2 Qurious: Nate Cardin was so successful with his first go at a collection of crosswords to benefit LGBTQIA+ charities that he decided to do another one! It's easy: donate to one of a number of charities, show your receipts, get your puzzles (from some of the best constructors in the business). Do it! Give it as a gift! Go on!
Women of Letters: Patti Varol put together this collection of crosswords by women constructors, to benefit "women-centric charities." As with Queer Qrosswords, you donate to a charity, show your receipts, get your puzzles. Great causes, great puzzles. Go for it.
Outside the Box puzzles (by Joon Pahk): I don't normally go too far into the world of non-crosswords, but the Variety puzzles and Rows Garden puzzles (so fun! see the sample here if you're not familiar with this type of puzzle!) available here are crossword-adjacent enough for me. If you want to diversify your (or someone else's!) puzzling fare, subscribe to Year 5 of Outside Box. Now. Go on!
Fireball Newsflash Crosswords 2020: man I love these things. Biweekly crosswords that Peter builds with answers straight out of recent headlines. If something's in the news, chances are you'll see it here first (crossword-wise). These puzzles are hypercurrent and force me to have to deal on a regular basis with names I don't know—a very important solving skill to have. The Kickstarter for next season (2020) met its funding goal Sunday night (12/22), so get over there and subscribe with confidence, or buy someone a subscription, and add a newsy dimension to your (or someone else's) solving experience.
Puzzlesnacks by Eric Berlin: Hey, look, puzzles for beginning and intermediate solvers, particularly *kids*. I'll let Eric describe: "With Puzzlesnacks, I specialize in taking variety crossword types generally seen as pretty darn challenging, and making them more accessible to beginning and intermediate solvers. I post a puzzle to the Web site (http://www.puzzlesnacks.com) every Friday -- I want kids to be able to access the puzzle for free. But adults are encouraged to subscribe, for $3 / month. Subscribers get the puzzle sent directly to them by e-mail, and they get a couple dozen bonus puzzles each year as well."

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Alex Eaton-Salners

Relative difficulty: Easyish (timer didn't start, so I don't know how easy, but ... somewhere on the Easy side)

THEME: BARBERSHOP / QUARTET (54A: With 63-Across, singing group .... or a hint to the ends of the answers to the four starred clues) — there are four (a quartet!) themers, each of which ends with a word for what barbers do to hair:

Theme answers:

COLD CUT (15A: *Bologna, e.g.)
BINDER CLIP (18A: *Device for holding papers together)
WINDOW TRIM (32A: *Carpenter's decorative molding)
BUMPER CROP (43A: *Abundant harvest)

Word of the Day: McG (13D: Director of 2000's "Charlie's Angels," to film fans) —

Joseph McGinty Nichol (born August 9, 1968), known professionally as McG, is an American director, producer, and former record producer.
He began his career in the music industry, directing music videos and producing various albums. He later rose to prominence with his first film, Charlie's Angels (2000), which had the highest-grossing opening weekend for a directorial debut at the time. Since then, he has directed several other films, including Charlie's Angels sequel Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and Terminator Salvation, co-created the television series Fastlane and has executive produced numerous television programs, such as The O.C., Chuck, and Supernatural.
McG also owns a production company, Wonderland Sound and Vision, founded in 2001, which has overseen the production of the films and television shows he has worked on since Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. (wikipedia)

• • •

Finished this quickly, with no idea of what the theme was. Looking it over after the fact, I think it works fine. Very old-fashioned at its core (a "last words"-type theme, where final words of themers all belong to the same category or otherwise have something in common), but with a revealer that gives it a little spice (with both parts of the revealer being relevant to the expression of the theme, i.e. cutting takes place in a BARBERSHOP, and there are a QUARTET of themers that end in cutting verbs). Solid. The fill is a little ... well, oddly adjectival, for one. EPOCHAL is one thing, but AREOLAR!? I'm sure it's real, but yikes. There were some other mildly cringey moments. UNWEAVE? I guess Penelope kinda does this in The Odyssey, but it's not exactly an everyday activity. EKED BY? That one feels off somehow. You'd say you "got by." You'd say you "eked out ... a living."EKED BY feels again like something that's defensible, but not exactly crisp and in-the-language. The grid was also pretty namey, in potentially treacherous ways. EGON probably isn't known to everyone. Ditto Spud WEBB. And those answers abut one another. Hopefully you know STIEG, or else you're in real trouble. EGON / NEA should obviously be EGOS / SEA, but since you've already got AT SEA in the grid, you can't use SEA again. I probably would've gone with EGOT / TEA (EGOT = Emmy Grammy Oscar Tony, a quartet that very few people possess). But I think the crosses are ultimately fair here.

Mistakes, I made a few. And, lucky for you, not too few to mention. First, forgot MCG was a thing, so that was weird. That's another one where fair crosses are essential, because that name doesn't have the currency it once did and is utterly uninferrable. I thought maybe you'd rent a CABIN by the lake, but no, it's another five-letter word starting CA- (CANOE) (30D: Lakeside rental). Lastly, I wanted POSH for BOSH (54D: Brit's "Baloney!"). Pretty sure they are synonyms. . . oh, man, looks like I was thinking of "pish posh!" I say, I'm hopeless with Briticisms!

Five things:

22A: Alternative to café (THÉ) — gotta supply that accent aigu or else you've just got a definite article on your hands ("thé" = "tea" in French)
21D: "Ghostbusters" character ___ Spengler (EGON) — I know only one other EGON: the artist EGON Schiele. He's very famous as 20th-century artists go. He's got this wiry, anxious line to his figures. I really like it.

62A: Ballplayers with birds on their caps (ORIOLES) — and Blue Jays. and Cardinals.
10D: "Monster's Ball" Oscar winner (HALLE BERRY) — spelled it BARRY, which was right next to the CANOE snafu, so yeah, to the extent that I slowed down at all, I slowed down in that eastern area
28D: Hook's sidekick (SMEE) — good old SMEE. Don't see him around much anymore. Just twice a year for the past four years (incl. this one). Victim of the decline in crosswordesey names. Speaking of which ... has anyone seen EERO Saarinen!? Someone should really check in on him.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Bruce Haight

Relative difficulty: Medium (4:15)

THEME: Santa chortling all over the place — phrases with "HO" sound in them have that sound tripled to "HOHOHO," and phrase is given a wacky "things Santa might say"-type clue:

Theme answers:

"LAND HO HO HO!" (17A: What Santa said when his sleigh touched down?)
"PLEASE HO- HO- HOLD" (23A: What Santa might say on his North Pole hotline?)
"IT'S HO- HO- HOPELESS!" (38A: What Santa said when the reindeer went on strike on Christmas Eve?)
"HO- HO- HOLY SMOKES!" (50A: What Santa said when going down a chimney that had a lit fireplace?)
"I'M HO- HO- HOME!" (61A: What Santa says around dawn on Christmas Day?)

Word of the Day: ISOTHERMS (31D: Weather map lines relating to temperature) —

1: a line on a map or chart of the earth's surface connecting points having the same temperature at a given time or the same mean temperature for a given period

2: a line on a chart representing changes of volume or pressure under conditions of constant temperature (merriam-webster.com)

• • •

If I may quote several early reviews I saw of this puzzle: "No no no." The theme is conceptually fine (though not that well executed—more on that in a moment). But the fill is so grim that I can't believe you'd want to run this puzzle *any* day of the year, let alone Christmas Day. I mean, Bashar al-ASSAD? Really? Really?? You want to put that ****ing murderous dictator, commiter of war crimes, user of chemical weapons, that guy, you want to put *him* in your light-hearted Santa-themed puzzle? And NOOSE!? Yeesh, that's grim: genocide *and* lynchings. Quite a day. And then you throw in the leering HOT OR NOT (39D: Rhyming question of attractiveness), an answer that recalls the creepy early days of Facebook, when it was called FaceMash and was set up as "a type of "hot or not" game for Harvard students. The website allowed visitors to compare two female student pictures side by side and let them decide who was more attractive" (wikipedia). Ugh. So many bad vibes in this puzzle. The misery even works its way into the theme a little, with the reindeer going on strike and Santa just going, "Oh, it's ho- ho- hopeless." Hey, Santa, pay your ****ing reindeer, you creep!

As I said, I don't mind the basic theme concept, though I wish the answers had more oomph to them. Also, LAND HO HO HO is awful, first because ... wow, there are so many things wrong. You say "land ho" when you see land, not when you "touch down." Also, that's just not a very Christmasy image. It's like you tried to make an utterly unChristmas thing into a Christmas thing just because it had "HO" in it. And about that: that answer is terrible because it's the only one where "HO" is not the first syllable of a larger word. That repeated "HO" syllable at the front end of words gives the puzzle its quirkiness and charm. But when you're just repeating "HO" on its own? That's just sad. Ho-ho-horrible first themer. The others are fine.

Screwed up a few times along the way. Wrote in AGE instead of BIO (5D: Part of a dating profile, for short). Had PASO, I think, before PALO (1D: ___ verde (desert tree)). Wanted YOKEL before YAHOO (53D: Country bumpkin). And then just couldn't think what the hell kind of scent an air freshener might have. I hate those things. Artificial aromas give me headaches. I don't think I'd've guessed LEMON if I'd had ten guesses. So I just got that one from crosses. Hey, did you know you can get rid of NOOSE (ugh) super duper easy. NO ONE / ONO, and ... that's it. There are other remedies too, as any half-experienced constructor could tell you. I just don't get putting NOOSE in your puzzle if you don't absolutely have to. Especially on Christmas. Bizarre. OK, gotta get to bed before Santa comes. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Trenton Charlson

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging?? (untimed)

THEME: BOWLING (62A: Sport that is the key to interpreting the answers to 21-, 40- and 56-Across) — you must read "/" and "X"s as bowling symbols in order to make sense of the long theme answers:

Theme answers:

"/ ME THE DETAILS" ("/" is the symbol for "spare" in BOWLING) (21A: "I've heard everything I need to hear")
X THE RIGHT BALANCE (40A: Find an ideal compromise)
XXX IN THE STRAW (56A: Classic tune often played by ice cream trucks)

Word of the Day: SKEG (34D: Surfboard stabilizer) —

1: the stern of the keel of a ship near the sternpostespecially : the part connecting the keel with the bottom of the rudderpost in a single-screw ship

2: a fin situated on the rear bottom of a surfboard that is used for steering and stability (merriam-webster.com)

• • •

Truly viscerally did not like this one, so not gonna spend a lot of time on it. Took one look at the grid and thought "ugh, why is it so choppy? why are there all these stupid short words everywhere? this is going to be ugly" and it was. Bad enough to have so many 3-letter words, but then when you try to clue those three-letter words (none of which are or can be good fill) at a Saturday level much of the time ... the result is fussy and annoying. And at 16-wide there was just ... more of it. More JAMERGSHYDOW and YOWFLOYESNEO and on and on. I can't even get to the theme because the rest of this thing is so painful. And then just the dumbness of RIVERSEINE, what, are you writing a poem? (5D: Subject of several Georges Seurat paintings) It's just the SEINE, we call it the SEINE. I hated that ansswer So Much, even more than when I see RIVERPO, which, yes, I have seen, and which is also bad bad bad. Is the theme cute? I don't think so, but maybe you like BOWLING? I don't like that "/" is a symbol that has to be weirdly added to the grid (i.e. you would normally just write ACDC) whereas the "X"s are just those letters (i.e. writing in EXEC here was no different than writing in EXEC any other time). I resented the revealer, because a. things would've gone faster if I'd just started there, and (related) b. by the time I got there, it was a redundant dud of an answer. Also, it's a revealer with no symmetrical theme answer (unless BATCAVE factors in somehow in a way I haven't yet figured out). But the theme isn't what's truly objectionable—the crosswordese-laden trash pile of short fill is. Oh, and ECOTONE (43A: Transitional zone between two biomes), ack, blecch, no ... and it crosses RIVERSEINE too, my god I need coffee to get the taste of this thing out of my mouth.

The only place anyone says "TGIF" is in crosswords, so much so that I now truly hate the expression (58D: "What a long week!"). Why do we pretend people say this? They do not. Do they even say it ironically. Does the restaurant chain TGIFriday's even exist anymore?? At least this grid didn't have TGI, which I have definitely seen (twice this year ... so apparently the restaurant chain *does* still exist, because that is virtually the only clue the NYTX has used for it, [___ Friday's]). What the hell is a XEROphyte? (57D: Prefix with -phyte) Maybe don't just do the dumb twin clue thing (see 72A: Prefix with -phyte) when the word you are imagining is so far out of common usage (unlike "neophyte"). Incorporate the meaning into the clue somehow, so at least the solver can learn something. A XEROphyte is a species of plant that has adapted to live in environments with very little water, which makes sense, as the only XERO- prefixed word I know is XEROscaping, where you replace your stupid thirsty lawn with plants that don't require supplemental irrigation. And LOL it's not XERO-scaping but XERIscaping, oh well. My bad. ELAL AGER NNE GTO OLE ERG (!) ENGR (!!) ERSE (!!!) ELLER (!?!) it truly is relentless, this grid. There are only three real themers here, why is this grid such a black square-ridden, short fill-infested disaster??

May this post-YULE period bring us the joyous grids we deserve! Cheers!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Sam Trabucco

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (for me) (6:24)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: BOTNETS (21A: Malicious creations of hackers)—

A botnet is a number of Internet-connected devices, each of which is running one or more bots. Botnets can be used to perform distributed denial-of-service attack (DDoS attack), steal data, send spam, and allows the attacker to access the device and its connection. The owner can control the botnet using command and control (C&C) software. The word "botnet" is a combination of the words "robot" and "network". The term is usually used with a negative or malicious connotation. (wikipedia)

• • •

I had no strong positive or negative feelings about this one. It's fine. I do think the Friday NYTXW has an obligation to be somewhat better than fine, but there's nothing particularly *wrong* with this grid. It just doesn't have much sparkle or personality. It's fine. It's full of ... things. Real things. Maybe it's the editing / cluing that's the problem—the voice. It just doesn't have one, or not an interesting one, anyway. It all just feels very pro forma and workmanlike. I just can't see being excited to put any of these answers in the grid, and with themelesses, exciting answers should be the seeds—the things you build your grid out from. Always excited to see ALANMOORE, but I've seen him before. Same with BATESMOTEL. FROZEN MARGARITA is probably the snazziest thing here, and it occupies its rightful place of centrality. I just didn't experience any "ooh, good one!" moments, which, on a Friday (the best day) is a bit disappointing. I also found the puzzle frustrating to solve not just because of the clue difficulty but because of names I didn't know. A MATT here, a MANN there. The answers ... don't seem like terribly important people. I dunno. At least if you're teaching me a new name, give me someone it seems like it might be worth knowing. There have been a million "Doctor Who" doctors, Who cares? And a golfer who won a tournament 55 years ago??? There are so many great MANNs you could've gone with: a barely consequential golfer of yore just didn't do anything fo r me. Of course the relative delightfulness of names varies from solver to solver, so you may feel differently. But take GOTYE. I got(yed) it easily, but I don't think it's *good*. A single hit 7 years ago, and a name that is utterly uninferrable at every letter ... is not great fill. You really gotta be careful with names.

I struggled to get any real flow going with this one (though the NW and especially the SE went much faster than the rest of it). Made a ton of mistakes. Here are some of them:

Mistakes:

IVORY for EBONY (4D: Key material)— the fact that the "O" and the "Y" worked in the crosses made this one pretty tenacious. I was very lucky that SAT (25A: Rested) and HUH? (31A: "You said what?") were both correct guesses, and that I was (thus) able to see FELT AT HOME with only three letters in place.
SAGS for SETS (13D: Goes down) — thank god ALAN MOORE set me straight, 'cause I felt pretty good about SAGS.
SODA for COLA (49D: Mixer option) — I mean, of course I made this error; it's a classic error, and I'm always going to make it: SODA for COLA, COLA for SODA ... I'm just doomed that way.
OBE for DSO (54D: Brit. military honor) — a. I think you mean "honour" and b. uggggggh of all the bygone clues of yore, the Brit. military honor is the one I would like to be the bygoneiest.
GEEK for KOOK (39A: Weirdo) — I did think the clue was a *little* harsh for GEEK, but I had that terminal "K" and just ran with the first thing that came to mind.
STEN (!?) for ICBM (48D: Cold War weapon, for short) — I knew pretty much as I was writing in STEN that it was wrong and that ICBM was another, probably stronger possibility. But still, for the record, I definitely wrote in STEN.

Other struggles included: wanting FROST or FROSTED or FROSTY something at 34A: It's icy and coated with salt (FROZEN MARGARITA); wanting OH MY something for the (to me, Very difficulty) "OH, LORDY!" (45A: "Heavens!"); wanting absolutely nothing for ELON, which, crossing the absolutely unknown MANN, was brutal (50D: Southern university or the town it's in); having ZERO and then zero idea what could follow (35D: Favorable loan term); figuring the [Malicious creations of hackers] were some kind of BOTS (i.e. I wanted BOTS at the end of the word); and forgetting Stormy Daniels was a PORN STAR (for some reason, I just thought she was a stripper—look, I try really hard not to pay attention to the most of the more lurid *&$^ associated with the current administration, I really do, it's just too much soul-crushing sludge for a decent human mind to bear) (10D: Stormy Daniels, e.g.). Glad to see ALAN MOORE clued as *co-*creator of "Watchmen"—was half-hoping the answer to that clue was going to be DAVE GIBBONS. Comics artists are often creators of worlds, not just secondary illustrators, and nowhere is that more true than in "Watchmen." I hope the next ALAN MOORE clue recognizes his vast and influential post-DC output ("League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,""From Hell,""Tom Strong,""Promethea," etc.). But, you know, baby steps.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Robyn Weintraub

Relative difficulty: Easy (6:03, just after a two-hour nap)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: LETHE (39A: One of the five rivers of HADES) —

Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, is one of the five rivers of the Greek underworld; the other four are Acheron (the river of sorrow), Cocytus (the river of lamentation), Phlegethon (the river of fire) and Styx (the river that separates Earth and the Underworld). According to Statius, it bordered Elysium, the final resting place of the virtuous. Ovid wrote that the river flowed through the cave of Hypnos, god of sleep, where its murmuring would induce drowsiness.
The shades of the dead were required to drink the waters of the Lethe in order to forget their earthly life. In the Aeneid, Virgil (VI.703-751) writes that it is only when the dead have had their memories erased by the Lethe that they may be reincarnated. (wikipedia)

• • •

What a lovely way to end the Themeless Year—with a sparkling, smooth Saturday by Robyn Weintraub, who ... well, I don't give an "NYTXW Constructor of the Year" award, but if I did, it would be hard to beat her. This year she became one of a small handful of names I most look forward to seeing on the byline. Her themelesses are generally chock full of lively expressions, and mercifully free of obscurities and junk, and today's was no exception. Always helps my disposition toward a puzzle when 1-Across is a gimme, but it's especially nice when that answer is also delightful. I had "Let's! Do! the Time! Warp! Agaaaaain" in my head the entire solve. Maybe it helped my speed, I don't know. It definitely helped my mood. So fun to figure out OCHO (off of SO-SO) and then drop I CAN RELATE and PHONED IT INright next to each other, bam bam. Great phrases! Colloquial, in-the-language, right on the money. RED HOT answers that HIT THE SPOT! Speaking of HIT THE SPOT, that's where I hit my first (and only) wall: I threw that answer Across, figuring I'd be off to the races, doing a quick clockwise lap around the grid, when ... nothing. Well, IMPS, and then nothing. My passage to the NE and other points E, blocked! With hands figuratively in prayer position, I returned the abundance of answers I had in the far west and tried to work from there, and once again, whoosh, off I went.

No idea how I got HASN'T A CLUE (with its ... quaintish phrasing?) off of just HAS-, but I did (27D: Is thick). Thought 38D: Speeds through the Downs, say had something to do with crosswords (nice clue, whoever's responsible!)*, but after a cross or two, I got GALLOPS. And here is where I both hurt and helped myself. I saw the HADES clue, which was a cross-reference, and when I saw the cross-referenced clue (39A: One of the five rivers of 56-Across), I knew I was dealing with the Underworld. Sadly, though, my brain hiccuped and instead of thinking the river was the 5-letter answer at 39-Across, I imagined it was the 4-letter answer at 36-Across ... and so I wrote in STYX (!??!!) in ET TU's place while leaving the LETHE place blank. *River of Forgetfulness Indeed!* Oy. Such a stupid self-inflicted wound. Quickly fixed, but still, ugh. And the wildly wrong and wrongly-placed STYX had me wanting something like "EXTRA EXTRA" at 33D: Juicy news alert ("GUESS WHAT?"), which wouldn't fit, but that "X" from STYX was still Very convincing. Anyway, I left STYX just sitting there, and once I came crashing back across the grid from the SW to the SE, STYX got washed away quickly. Approaching the NE from the bottom (as opposed to from the west) made All the difference. Went right through it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Weird how your approach angle can drastically affect the relative difficulty of a section. Wrapped things up with LOSES SLEEP, the clue for which I weirdly ... never looked at? Sometimes when you're racing, weird things happen. I finished it off, safely and happily, which is all that matters. Loads of fun.

Five things:

34A: Some framing supplies (MATS)— somehow always thought this was spelled MATTES, but that's a different art term, it seems
50A: Less efficient washers (TOP LOADERS)— well now I feel inadequate. Honey, we need to go appliance shopping...
55A: "Put Your Head on My Shoulder" singer, 1959 (ANKA) — not too far off the mark to say that ANKA was the difference between an average and a fast solve. That "K" was incredibly valuable, allowing me to see ON THE ROCKS, which was pretty effectively hidden behind the vague [Not neat] clue.
54A: Last word in the first verse of "Old Mother Hubbard" (NONE)— I wrote in BONE. Apparently I don't know where the "verse" breaks are.
42A: Form of relief (ALMS) — had the "A," wrote in ALOE ... and the "L" was right, too! CRIMEA really saved my skin, there (35D: Annexed land of 2014)

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

*"Downs" is just archaic for "hills," and for some reason (perhaps following Epsom Downs in England), it became conventional in the U.S. to put the term into racetrack names (e.g. Churchill Downs) whether there were any hills around or not. There are "___ Downs" racing venues all over the country, including Presque Isle Downs in the crossword capital of America: ERIE, PA.

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Andrew Chaikin

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium (9:17)

THEME: New Year's Resolutions— themers are just ... New Year's resolutions, but in the clues, they've been assigned to specific kinds of people based on some punny wacky reimagining of the meaning of words in the resolutions:

Theme answers:

CLEAN OUT THE HOUSE (23A: Casino gambler's resolution?)
SEE FRIENDS MORE OFTEN (32A: Sitcom lover's resolution?) (so, the sitcom "Friends" ... is the joke)
GROW MY NEST EGG (51A: Hen's resolution?)
GIVE UP OLD HABITS (65A: Nun's resolution?)
WATCH WHAT I EAT (80A: Stalking tiger's resolution?)
PLAN A PERFECT GETAWAY (97A: Bank robber's resolution?)
ORGANIZE MY OFFICE (110A: Union activist's resolution?)

Word of the Day: MARCI Klein (37A: Emmy-winning TV producer Klein) —

Marci Klein is an American television producer best known for her work on Saturday Night Liveand 30 Rock. She has won four Emmy Awards. [...] In 1989, Klein began a 20-year career at Saturday Night Live. As a producer and head of the show's talent department, Klein discovered a number of future comedy superstars, including: Tracy Morgan, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Will Ferrell, Fred Armisen, Chris Kattan, Darrell Hammond, Sarah Silverman, Kevin James, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, and Ana Gasteyer. She is frequently talked about as a successor to SNL creator and Executive Producer Lorne Michaels.
Klein has been nominated for 14 Emmys, winning four times, once for Saturday Night Live's 25th Anniversary Special and three times for 30 Rock. She has also been nominated for nine Producers Guild Awards, winning three. (wikipedia)

• • •

This is one of those themes where the clues are *everything*—without pitch-perfect clues, you just have a truly boring list of generic resolutions. Sadly, the clues were, as PUNNY clues go, exceedingly straightforward and never funny. At best, maybe you might grin. Mostly, you're just gonna be emitting low, small groans periodically. Do gamblers really ever CLEAN OUT THE HOUSE. A reform-minded U.S. representative might want to do this, but I don't think it's really possible to "clean out" a damn casino. And why would you GIVE UP OLD HABITS. I have many habits that are old that are quite good and I would never resolve to give them up. That's idiocy. You give up bad habits. Making the subject of WATCH WHAT I EAT a "stalking tiger" was just ...weird. Over and over the clues were just, I dunno, fine, or they missed slightly. It's like the NYTXW is afraid to go all in with their dad jokes. When you've got nothing else to sell but your wacky "?" clue, you need to be nuts. Otherwise, we're just methodically filling in boxes and hoping Monday brings more joy.

Tough going early, as I could not figure out ALPS (27A: Locale of 10 Winter Olympics) (I wanted A...SIA?), had no idea who MARCI was, thought SEE 'N' SAY had an ampersand in it (so wanted a rebused "AND" where the "N" was supposed to go), and thought ["Auld Lang Syne" time] was YULE (it's YORE ... is "YORE" in the lyrics? ... huh). But getting started on a puzzle is often the hardest part, and once I got out of there, I didn't experience much resistance until the very end, at the opposite end of the grid (SE), where I did truly (if relatively briefly) struggle with the very hard clues on SIRIUS (90A: Standout star) and LOTTO (96A: Ball game), as well with the overall concept of BEAUTY ICON (which is a rather limited way to see Beyoncé, imho) (74D: Marilyn Monroe or Beyoncé). I was weirdly put off by WINE TASTERS; of course WINE TASTING is a thing, but something about imagining TASTERS as a category seemed strange to me. But then I realized that of course there are people whose actual job is tasting wine, sommeliers and others whose professions require them to purchase and understand wine, and so, sure, that is in fact a category (as opposed to just calling anyone engaged in wine-tasting a "wine taster"). Sometimes I do overthink these things.

Five things:

21A: The eyes have it (LASH)— absolutely not. If your eyes have a single LASH between them, ask your physician if Emplyzialash™ is right for you
43D: Get lost or stolen, in British lingo (GO WALKIES) — huh. OK. If you say so.
6D: Actress Metcalf who was nominated for an Oscar for "Lady Bird" (LAURIE) — she has Tonys (two) and Emmys (three). Getting nominated for an Oscar is definitely clue-worthy, and yet the clue makes her seem somewhat less Legendary than she actually is.
93D: Title heroine of classic 60-Across books (RAMONA) (60-Across = Beverly CLEARY) — now this is my kind of cross-reference. These were very much my sister's jam when she was a kid. My sister currently owns a three-legged cat named RAMONA (after the CLEARY heroine) and here she is:

63D: "Same here!" ("SO AM I!") — It should always be SOAMI but since it's sometimes ASAMI I sometimes guess ASAMI and when I'm wrong it makes me dislike SOAMI even more than I would if there weren't an annoying doppelganger answer

Hey, if you want to do a really challenging and clever New Year's-themed puzzle, check out "Vision Quest," a cryptic crossword from Emily Cox / Henry Rathvon at the Wall Street Journal puzzle site (you can print out a .PDF here). Excellent clipboard fun!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Constructor: Gary Larson

Relative difficulty: Easy (though my time was normal—I blame drink and (related?) constant typos) (3:04)

THEME: ON A ROLL (40A: Winning time after time ... or where you might find 17-, 23-, 51- or 62-Across) — things you might find on a roll:
Theme answers:

MARGARINE (a dinner roll)
HONOR STUDENT (honor roll)
ALUMINUM FOIL (uh ... usually it comes *in* a roll, but is that cardboard bit in the middle called 'a roll'? OK, then ...)
MONEY CLIP (on a money ... roll ... though normally if you have in fact made a 'roll' of your money, a clip would not in fact hold it; you'd need a rubber band, like *literally* all the pictures that come up when I search [money roll], here look:

Word of the Day: GAHAN Wilson (18D: Illustrator Wilson famous for his macabre cartoons) —

Gahan Allen Wilson (February 18, 1930 – November 21, 2019) was an American author, cartoonist and illustrator known for his cartoons depicting horror-fantasy situations. // Wilson was born in Evanston, Illinois, and was inspired by the work of the satiric Mad and Punchcartoonists, and 1950s science fiction films. His cartoons and prose fiction appeared regularly in Playboy, Collier's and The New Yorker for nearly 50 years. He published cartoons and film reviews for The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. From 1992 through end of publication, he prepared all the front covers for the annual book Passport to World Band Radio. Wilson was a movie review columnist for The Twilight Zone Magazine and a book critic for Realms of Fantasy magazine. [...] In 2005, Wilson was recognized with a lifetime achievement award from the World Fantasy Awards. He received the World Fantasy Convention Award (in the form of the bust of H. P. Lovecraft that he had designed as the award trophy in 1975) in 1981. He also received the National Cartoonists Society's Milton Caniff Lifetime Achievement Award in 2005.
Wilson is the subject of a feature-length documentary film, Gahan Wilson: Born Dead, Still Weird, directed by Steven-Charles Jaffe.
He was an influence on later alternative cartoonists, including Gary Larson [!!!!!!!?], John Callahan and Bill Plympton. (wikipedia)

• • •

This puzzle feels about as timely as MONEY CLIP, which is to say it feels like it came from ca. 1985 (the last time I actually owned a MONEY CLIP. It's so generic, so plain, so ... I mean Mel OTT Frankie LAINE Davy Crockett ... it's not even trying to be anything close to current. And it's not like Shortz works that hard to make the clues current. So it feels mothbally. Same with the theme concept. I'm stunned it hasn't been done before. Or maybe I'm not, since ALUMINUM FOIL and MONEY CLIP don't *really* work. Foil comes *in* a roll, or ... just come in rolls, I guess ... and a MONEY CLIP isn't made to hold a literal cash roll. I holds bills folded over once, I think. Close enough for horseshoes and hand grenades, I guess, but pretty weak sauce compared to most good, tight, sparkly Mondays. I guarantee you one of the other dailies (USA Today, LAT, Newsday, Universal, or WSJ) has a nicer theme than this one today. Too much competition out there right now. NYT should be B+ or better every single day. There are no excuses for this kind of just okay-ness.

Felt like I didn't have to struggle at all, but the timer came out with a very average time, which means I had more trouble (either interpreting clues or just plain typing) than I thought I did. I really did struggle to comprehend the clue on HERE (3D: On earth), which I really despise. The Taj Mahal is "on earth," but it is not [... looks around room ...] HERE, by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe the clue means simply "in existence," but still. Blecch. Every part of me resisted HERE, which meant I lost valuable seconds. I also saw the clue at 15A: 1940s-'60s singer Frankie (LAINE) and could think only of VALLI. I had the "A" from TAR and the "I" from WII, but wanting VALLI made me doubt WII, and so, yeah, I must've flailed for a few seconds there as well. Wrote in ALUMINUM WRAP at first, which, given that "wrap" is in the clue, was a bad idea; and then I wrote in MONEY BELT instead of CLIP, which ... is that more or less archaic than MONEY CLIP? I don't know. Anyway, those erasures certainly cost me time. And then I had a bit of an issue parsing DOORDIE (which always happens with that answer, whenever I encounter it) and INORDER. But in the end, it was a textbook Monday puzzle. Not an up-to-date textbook, but textbook, in its solidly 20th-century way, nonetheless. One big treat was seeing GAHAN Wilson—a great cartoonist who passed away just last month (11/21). I don't think GAHAN is exactly a Monday answer, but the crosses are fair, and since he's one of the greats, I have no problem seeing his name in any puzzle, no matter the day of the week.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

Cost-controlling W.W. II org / WED 12-11-19 / Grease song with aonomatopoeic lyrics / Australian wind instrument / Penner of line language is wine upon lips / Fiesta finger food

Charles of "The Great Escape" / THU 12-12-19 / Storied El Capitan climbing route / Southwest acquisition of 2011 / Animals symbolizing the universe in Chinese culture

Old TV actress Swenson / FRI 12-13-19 / Fifth-century military leader / Skintight swimwear for surfer / National park west of Calgary / Wally's sitcom brother / Fifth-century military leader / Beverage marketed as blend of 23 different flavors

Device for mass-producing signatures / SAT 12-14-19 / Dadaist who experimented with camera-less photography / One-named singer with 2000 hit Case of Ex Whatcha Gonna Do / Acts of environmental extremism / Guy de Maupassant's second novel / World capital on island of Upolu

Company that introduced Etch A Sketch / SUN 12-15-19 / Daily cable show that's covered Hollywood since 1991 / Airer of Arrow iZombie / French schoolteacher / Interval known as devil in music / Political figure on whom Snowball is based in Animal Farm

Physical expression of frustration in modern lingo / MON 12-16-19 / Ending with Capital Faith / Bell-ringing makeup company / Recurring Tyler Perry movie role

1966 Michael Caine title role / TUE 12-17-19 / One-named singer who once led the Sugarcubes / Fifth-century barbarians / 1813 battle site in war of 1812

East Coast 7-Eleven competitor / WED 12-18-19 / Harry's foil in Harry Potter / Start of long-winded musing from author / Catchword in waste management / Article of equipment akin to wakeboard / Rapid breakup of frozen stream in spring

Glares sourly at in modern lingo / THU 12-19-19 / Longtime MLB second baseman Chase / Modern-day locale of ancient Persepolis

Largest steel producer in U.S. / FRI 12-20-19 / Early illustrator of Uncle Sam / X Men film spinoff starring Hugh Jackman

Clique's aspirations in modern lingo / SAT 12-21-19 / TV host fluent in eight languages / Either half of country duo with 14 #1 country hits / Bygone ad figure in tuxedo sunglasses / Bit of Communist Chinese attire

Indian megacity of 28+ million / MON 12-23-19 / Tolkien's Lord of Rivendell / One of 38 for Madonna billboard record / Biblical birthright seller / New World natives noted for their pyramids calendar

Old cornball variety show with Buck Owens / TUE 12-24-19 / Ghostbusters character Spengler / Carpenter's decorative molding / Director of 2000s Charlie's Angels to film fans / Black-purple fruit from palm tree

Verde desert tree / WED 12-25-19 / Nebraska county named for indigenous people / Weather map lines relating to temperature / Rhyming question of attractiveness

Transitional zone between two biomes / THU 12-26-19 / Secret headquarters for Bruce Wayne / Comic strip title character who is Beetle Bailey's sister / Classic tune often played by ice cream trucks

Golfer Carol who won 1965 US Women's Open / FRI 12-27-19 / Establishment with 12 cabins in classic 1960 film / Smith player of doctor on doctor who / Co-creator of Watchmen comic books / Historic speaker at Israel's Knesset on 11/20/1977 / Mountebanks less formally

Baking entrepreneur Wally / SAT 12-28-19 / Where hands go in Time Warp / Bronze Age chronicle / Number of sides on PARE road sign / Ingredient in John Daly cocktail / Annexed land of 2014

Get lost of stolen in British lingo / SUN 12-29-19 / Locale of 10 Winter Olympics / Hit 1980s-90s show with TV's first lesbian kiss

Illustrator Wilson famous for his macabre cartoons / MON 12-30-19 / 1940s-'60s singer Frankie / Standard Windows typeface